It burns. It takes what feels like hours to settle into your roots. And it's white. It's called a relaxer as you should already know. It's sounds like something that should be calming to your senses. It really does literally relax your hair, but the process is not relaxing at all. The creamy, chemical substance somewhat painfully pulls your hair from it's natural state. It looks beautiful after the two to three hours of perming, washing, and transforming your kinks. But why go through all this torture?
My mother got me into perming my hair when I was 12. Before this, she used to do my hair herself. It used to HURT. I'd cry from the comb when it would just tickle my tresses. She was never gentle with this job. My hair was her garden and the comb was her rake. I'd have a lot of cute little hairstyles. But my red eyes couldn't really see the beauty of it all.
I would always see these gorgeous, successful, black women in these magazines, tv, and on the streets with straight hair. It would always look so soft, so shiny, and so approachable for others to admire. Whenever I used to go to my junior high school with my au natural, I was always like 'whatever this is my hair and this is how I where it (though it hurts)'. For whatever reason, my mom pressed my hair with a hot comb one day and then eventually upgraded to relaxing. I hated the burning of the perm, but the compliments were nice. I started to feel a little more like the women in the magazines and my confidence grew a little.
And then here I am today. My confidence really grew more after getting rid of braces in high school and growing out of my shyness slowly but surely. Yet, I always felt better when my hair was looking good. As in straight. Only in my college years when I stopped focusing so much on other things is when I finally started looking at what my hair means to me.
Honestly, I hate how much of an issue perming is for black women. White women do it and it's no problem. Black women do it and it's this whole political issue. You're putting chemicals in your hair. You're turning white. You're a self hating black woman.
Ok, no one has ever said this me, but it's a stereotype pinned to women who perm or weave their hair. I love being black. The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice. I love my curves, my mind, and all other assets of being African American. So am I hating? No, I'm just loving being me.
I do see how much power and grace a woman with the natural tresses holds, though. There's so much beauty and character that a bold afro carries within. There's just so much that can be done with these kinky curls. And I've grown to love it soo much. I just wished my red eyes of the past could have seen the beauty sooner.
As of right now, I see the beauty everywhere. We really do have hair that is one of a kind. Rather than hate on one, I choose to love and appreciate all kinds. Both sides have given me pain, but without pain there's no beauty. If everything was easy, it wouldn't mean much right?
So we put ourselves through this trauma because of our own personal reasons. We take the care and time to mold our natural tresses, but also love the silky, smooth feel that a perm can give us. Although, it's easy to argue against the chemical process of a relaxer, I'm tired of feeling guilty and ashamed of how I like my hair to be at this time in my life. Confidence will remain exuberant with me regardless of if my hair is straight or kinky. Both is truly a stunning feature for us all.
Tiffany <3
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